He lost His bearings!

I am finding this a new daily exercise....being loved by the most amazing of fathers and no longer living with a morbid consciousness of sin.

And it all started at the cross!

"What is so amazing about the cross" you ask?

Oh, I am so glad to tell you.

It continues to be my newest and bestest discovery.

I am beginning to get it. Give me another 20 years.

I am driving into Charlotte to work these days laughing and crying my way in as He loves on me. I have to compose myself before I enter my work zone lest they all think I am crazy.

My circumstances haven't changed much. Still in a tough spot on many sides but it has less and less effect on my day's any more. I am so loved by God!

Alright, I give.

Here is a small piece of it.

The cross is all the proof I need that I am loved. Circumstances may or may not line up according to my schedule but the cross was where Jesus, because of love so identified with me and my condition and through it broke the power of sin forever over me. Hallelujah!

He became sin, my sin. Like I said before, it wasn't the cross that killed Him. It was my sin and the sin of the whole world. There was no sin in Him. He couldn't die no matter what they threw at Him.

But when He took my sin upon Himself and because of it lost His bearings. He really did lose His bearings. He had never lived one minute of His life outside of His relationship with His Father. The closest thing to it was in the wilderness. But this was a thousand times worse. He could not see His Father. Sin had the same effect on Him that it has on us. It blinded Him of His Father's presence and His truest identity.

When He cried out "My God, My God why have you forsaken me," He was feeling the impact of my sin, the same impact that you and I are so familiar with. I don't want to be presumptuous but I believe in the darkness of that hour He lost His bearings, His truest identity. It felt like God had some how turned His back on Him. The scourging, the nails in His feet and hands, the crown of thorns and the rejection He was experiencing from the sneering mob were terrible but nothing compared to the isolation, loneliness and abandonment He felt in that moment from His Father. I believe it was in that crushing moment, when He became my sin and the sin of the whole world.

Even though it were not true. Even though the Father was in Christ at that moment reconciling the world to Himself, from His perspective there was not a shred of evidence that it were true. Sin had so blinded His eyes that He felt not an iota of the love that was in the room.

The Father had not left for even an instant. Scripture is clear on that. God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit were identifying with us in our sinful state and through it providing the act that for all of creation would allow us to become friends with God. This was the plan of the ages. The culminating focal point in all of history. When Adam and Eve sinned Father, Son and Holy Spirit already knew what our redemption would cost them.

Marred beyond recognition, He exactly represented for all to see the marring that sin had produced in you and me. Sin had so destroyed our truest identity and on the cross He mirrored our depravity. Then in the midst of the horror he also experienced the lostness that is the dilemma of every man and woman born since Adam and Eve. "My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?"

And in that moment of complete darkness, on your and my behalf He chose to entrust Himself to the Father. "Father into your hands I commit my spirit." "I still BELIEVE, I still BELIEVE, I still BELIEVE." And then he died.

And in that moment the power of sin was broken.

Paul writes, "It is no longer I that live, but Christ who lives in me and the life I live in this flesh, I now live by the Faith OF the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

LaughOutLoud...Go ahead!

We now get to live form His Faith. When yours and mine runs out, when we feel pressed in by life and circumstances take a good look at the Faith of Jesus. We now get to live off His Faith in His darkest moment.

"How blessed we are at the end of our rope, for when we are at the end of our rope there is less of me so there can be more of Him."

And how blessed to no longer be living my life with a consciousness of sin. Really I mean it! This is the miracle that I am beginning to enjoy every day and how cool it is.

HE LOVES ME!

Thank you Jesus!

Loved by God

A new command, (different than the Old Covenant commandments) I give to you. "Love one another as I love you."

Imagine yourself sitting down and God in Christ , creator of all that is, coming over to you with a basin of water and a towel and one after the other washing the dirt off your feet and drying them. And imagine that accepting this one act is the entrance into every thing Jesus.

I mean imagine it right now! Go ahead and imagine Him, the God of the universe washing and drying your feet as the pre-requisite for relationship.

Does that blow you away? Is that humbling or what?

He then says "If I your Lord and teacher have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet."

The revelation of "being loved" is absolutely essential for "living loved."

Prayer, Bible reading, fasting, foot washing, giving etc. are the privilege of lovers, the response of being loved, never the means of attaining it.

You will never be more loved than you are right now. You will never be closer to God than you are right now.

Our joy in life is to discover and live daily in the fresh revelation of His love and nearness, experiencing the transformation it brings in us and around us, Joy, health, color, fragrance and flavor for you and your world.

Double Rainbow

Peter said "no way, you will never wash my feet."

Jesus responded, "If I do not wash you, you have no part in me."

Refusing to let Jesus wash my feet excludes me from not just his friendship but everything else. He says "I would have NO PART in Him."

The correct response would be "Lord, don't just wash my feet, wash me all over." But Jesus corrected Peter with "If you have had a bath you only need your feet washed."

Now that is a double rainbow right there! "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?"

We can't just skip over this and proceed to the cross.
This was also the same night He would die as our sin and for our sin, by far the largest act of love God would accomplish on our behalf....but there is something really big right here.

God wants to wash my feet?

He carried my sin upon the cross.

He became sin for me.

But He also wants to serve me by washing my feet?

My approval gives me access to everything Jesus! but my refusal is ultimately my rejection of everything Jesus. If I let Him wash my feet I get everything, if I refuse I get nothing!

Nothing I can do qualifies me; neither fasting, prayer, foot washing, Bible reading, or church going.

The above "must do list" is for children in a dysfunctional or rather schizophrenic relationship with their heavenly Father! (The relationship is on again, off again, depending on me and what I am doing.)

I will never be closer to Jesus than I am when He washes my feet. I will never be closer to God than I am in this endearing moment. This is my daily quest! This pre-qualifies me for everything Jesus....discovering His love in the mundane ordinary life I live, in between my toes.

It is called "living loved."

Hahahahhahaha....double rainbow in the sky!

Friendship with Jesus, fellowship divine, OH what precious sweet communion, Jesus is a friend of mine!

Double Rainbow

Peter said "no way, you will never wash my feet."

Jesus responded, "If I do not wash you, you have no part in me."

Refusing to let Jesus wash my feet excludes me from not just his friendship but every thing else. He says "I would have NO PART in Him."

The correct response would be "Lord, don't just wash my feet, wash me all over."

But Jesus corrected Peter with "If you have had a bath you only need your feet washed."

Now that is a double rainbow right here! "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?"

This was also the night He would die as our sin and for our sin.

Bird watching and sky diving

Things change as you age. Judson Cornwall used to talk about young love being exciting and old love being soothing. Bi-focals, fake teeth, spare parts and taste buds....speaking of taste buds, peas and carrots can now be interchanged with hot fudge sundaes and bird watching for roller coasters. Speaking of bird watching, a few years back Mary bought me a new bird feeder for Christmas. It was green and had a perch for the birds to sit on and enjoy the sun flower seeds. When the snakes and squirrels jumped on it it would close. Speaking of snakes, the bird feeder would bring some pretty amazing snakes into the yard as well and that's where the bird feeder became the best of entertainment. Any-way's speaking of Christmas, Joel not knowing the true adventure that could be found in bird feeders thought mom's gift was a little lame. And he purchased a sky diving ticket for me with an expiration date.

Now Joel has not always lived a little over the top. His place of being the youngest and cutest kid in the family was stolen from him at the age of twelve. That was when he became the middle child and a whole lot less significant. He fixed all of that by consciously choosing to live life on the edge. So when Joel is around we all are required to live there with him or feel insignificant ourselves. That's why when Joel moved to Africa, it was good for all of us.

But periodically he would come home and everything would change for a couple of weeks. A couple of years back he booked a wild water rafting trip for us all. It was also at Christmas and both the water and air temperature were close to freezing. Anyone who protested at these ideas was quickly labeled and would become the brunt in the newest story.

Now I actually have great memories of white water rafting but they were allways in the summer. Needless to say as I am gracefully aging, what I remember as being an exhilarating experience turned into a horror movie. The scenes of my life passed quickly before my eyes and I knew it was over. I wasn't only freezing to death, I was drowning as I was being swept on my rear end through the last of the number four's and five's in a series of rapids. It was at least the sixth time we had been thrown out of the boat. We couldn't just ride the sane larger boats, no we must experience the river in all of it's power and glory in the smaller, unstable, properly named, rodeo boats. Our guide was primarily interested in the opportunities presented to him when the boat would roll and lose it's occupants. By the last time of throwing us in the water he had proudly learned how to be king of the boat.

After an hour of standing in the hot shower bringing my body temperature back to normal I began to meditate on why I would actually feel compelled to join in the fun when I could be at home watching the birds.

Knowing my love for birds Joel decided that buying me a sky diving ticket would bring him back into his place of honor and respect in the family.

He called the other day and told me it was now or never. The ticket he had purchased a few years back would expire if not used. Reality began to sink in and I knew I had to follow through. It had been haunting me for the past three years.

Only today as I look back can I enjoy what transpired yesterday. I grinned at myself in the mirror this morning.

Yesterday I was plummeting towards earth at one hundred miles an hour with the pain of jet engines screaming in my ears. As the shoot opened and the calm took effect I was in contortions with the pain of not just the sound but the pressure produced from the five thousand foot drop. I have also found that aging has made my ears a whole lot more sensitive. Everything about the experience was uncomfortable. The straps were binding, cutting off the air. My goggles were fogging up, sweat pouring off my face. I was sitting on the lap of a young man for the ten thousand foot climb in a stifling hot 1957 model Sesna, trying to make light talk. "How are the kids. Do to you like jumping?" He mentioned he enjoyed the previous jump with the twenty eight year old hottie on his lap a lot more. I could understand that.

The view out the door was amazing. I was in the zone. Jason was right behind us waiting for us to roll out into the wind. My stomach was in my throat and one, two three we were off. I don't remember seeing any birds on the way down.

Today I am back home with my bird feeder. Mary and I are both relieved to have this experience in our rear view mirror and I'm relishing the memory of my close brush with death again. Joel is coming for a visit next week. I am planning a bird watching expedition. I think he'll like that.

In search of better story?

I am on the precarious edge of better story.

I am reading Heidi Baker's book out loud to Mary, sobbing my way through it. I have never heard the sermon on the mount taught the way she teaches it with such simplicity and story. She models "living loved" as I have never heard or seen except in the Jesus story. She puts flesh around the sermon on the mount with such simplicity and beauty. All of a sudden biblical words like "abiding in the vine", "rest"," being in Christ", "trust" "meekness", "hunger", "poor in spirit", come alive as she simply "lives loved". No fear, no shame, no guilt, no condemnation.....just story after story of the power of "living loved".

Good versus Evil, heroes, villains, adventure, romance, courage, compassion, triumph, defeat, miracles and Love, preposterous amounts of Love. In all reality the story is a love story beginning in the heart of God and being fleshed out in sons and daughters through the simplicity of a faith marked by love .... and with it, the hope of better story for all of the rest of us as we too learn to "live loved".

The name of the book...Compelled by LOVE.

I'm pretty cool for an old guy!

LOL. My sister in law Joy, just sent me a birthday card with some condolences inside..."it's not that bad". She has been there and done that and survived to tell the story.

Jason mentioned the scripture about old men dreaming dreams. It is actually quite the miracle. Dreaming is as natural as breathing for a young child but by the time you get to be my age life has knocked you around considerably and cynicism and sarcasm come much easier.
"What? You want to do what? Be a rock star? Be a pastor? Be hockey player? Jump out of a plane? You have got to be kidding!"


But God is Good.
And I am loved.
I am in a new growth spurt, anticipating, dreaming again.
It's a new season.
My message is being refined.
My story is amazing!
I am wealthy beyond measure...where it really counts!
My wife is every thing I ever dreamed she would be.
My kids believe!
My grand kids are more fun than ice cream!
My friends enrich my life!
And adventure awaits, risking, investing, giving and becoming love.
It is a miracle....old men can still dream.