This was no ordinary communion service. This was the king and his men in the cave. This was our king needing something from deep inside of each of us, our commitment, our promise, our blood.
I gave him the response he wanted, unspoken but real non the less and it was at that moment I was had, as was every other man in the room that day. I drank that day to my allegiance and eventually my bondage, "not I...the others maybe, but I won't be the one to betray you."
For me it was sooner rather than later that push came to shove....within a few months I discovered to my chagrin that I was the weak link...I wanted to follow the man, would have taken a bullet, I loved him. I didn't overtly betray him. It came more as a question....a misunderstanding. I challenged him, questioning his judgement...actually thinking he would want me to, and that he would appreciate it later. I never saw it as disloyalty or it wouldn't have crossed my mind. But for my pastor, perception was reality. He read it as disloyalty and before I knew it, I was the Judas in the room. And in the end, both mine and his undoing.
This man was asking for more of my soul than I could afford to give him, Most everyone else in the room that day eventually discovered that they too didn't have the goods. But sadly for too many it wasn't until years later.
The last supper had the disciples sitting around the room enjoying His presence as usual, big dreams, high asperations, punching each other for the right to sit next to Him ... Jesus passed out the bread and wine looking deep into their eyes, every intention was to sober them and prepare them for the reality that was upon them. But He wasn't looking for or expecting their commitment and loyalty. In fact He had very low expectations on not just Judas but everyone at the table. He knew every one of them was about to turn tail and run.
The disciples- "Jesus, we believe, we get it...we now understand who you are"....Of coarse Peter was the most vocal....he had just told the Lord "I'll lay down my life for you". Jesus had responded matter of fact "no you won't, you'll deny me three times". He told them that they would all leave Him. "Do you now believe?...The hour is coming when you will be scattered each to his own, and will leave me a lone, YET I'M NOT ALONE."
Jesus wasn't looking for or expecting loyalty. He was stating a fact. He knew they didn't have the goods. He told them they didn't. And then He said it wouldn't be a problem, He was not alone.
He said "Don't let your hearts be troubled." in other words "Don't worry about it. Your commitment is not what I am looking for. I'm not expecting your loyalty. It's OK." He was looking for something more...something much deeper, something they could only learn through failure. He was asking but with very low expectations. "Could you not watch with me for even an hour?...go ahead sleep on."
A few days later after the resurrection they were all again together having breakfast on the beach. Peter's failure and disloyalty was fresh on his mind and Jesus looking deep into Peter's heart popped the question, "Do you love me unconditionally?"
A different Peter responded, "Lord you're my best friend, (I don't know about the unconditional part in your question, but I do love you as a friend.")
Again Jesus asked the same question and a broken Peter responded as before.
"Lord, You know all things, You know ..."
I'm going to suggest that Peter was experiencing Romans chapter 7...you know the chapter that identifies with our flesh's inability to soar above sin.
But I'm also going to suggest that Romans chapter 7 "Failure" is just the prelude to Chapter 8 "triumph". Our failure is the process by which we experience His love and learn to trust, not ourselves but Him, not our righteousness but His, even in the dark."
Our sin doesn't catch Him by surprise. As painful as our sin is to ourselves and to our relationship with him it comes as no surprise to Him. He knows that we will only come to trust after first experiencing the failure that comes from not trusting.
HE WAS NOT ALONE! Note:His security wasn't tied to the loyalty or disloyalty of His disciples. He was One with His Father and his friend Holy Spirit, secure in that relationship and about to provide everything necessary for your and my security as well. He was about to secure the same relationship for us that He had with the Father.
In hind sight what my pastor was asking for that night wasn't his to ask. Jesus never asked it of his followers. He never asked for loyalty. He did not entrust Himself to them. He knew what was in them and He knows that we too cannot be trusted. The meal wasn't and isn't about our commitment to Him. The covenant meal was and is about His commitment to us.
Sin was about to be dealt a crushing blow in the very body of Christ. Sin, the once upon a time champion over the human race, was about to be destroyed. The wrath of God was about to be poured out from heaven against that which was destroying the object of His affection, you and me and the whole human race. And the bread and the wine was a tangible picture of the price He was about to pay in his own body for your and my redemption.
Today during communion He's still not asking for our commitment and loyalty. He is offering His. He isn't looking for anything in us. Instead He has chosen to provide through relationship with himself everything we will ever need. "He became sin for us so we could become the righteousness of God IN Him."
His prayer that night was much bigger....His prayer was for us, that we might be one with Him, "as You Father are in Me, and I am in You....that they may be one just as we are one: I in them and You in me, that they might be made Perfect in one...that the world might believe." He wasn't praying that we would all get along. He was praying that we would get it... His offer is to abide in us as we abide in him.
Our sin, our failures, our lack of stamina, our worry, our laziness, our selfishness, our schizophrenic attempts at righteousness are only symptomatic that we don't have the goods, that we are insecure, and hints at the fact that we are not living loved, (abiding in His love) in those areas of our lives. And I've noticed from my own story it seems to take a lot of failure before I get it. What makes us think that any part of the Christian experience is doable apart from Him
The sin problem was resolved on Calvary Once and for All. He became our sin, our unfaithfulness, our brokenness so we could become one with Him and everything He is...the righteousness of God. Because of the price He paid we are now the pre-qualified recipients of a friendship unequaled in this life, the fellowship of the Father and Son through a friendship with the Holy Spirit. We have been invited to participate in the same relationship that they have shared in for all eternity.
The big news now is I AM NO LONGER ALONE! My source for everything Jesus now lives in me. My commitment and loyalty are no longer my chief concern. Living loved (abiding) is now my chief concern! And as I abide in Him commitment and loyalty are the fruit of that relationship. This is such good news! It doesn't depend on me. My friend the Holy Spirit lives in me and is all I could and will ever be.
And that's the reason the disciples had to experience failure that night two thousand years ago in a garden on the mount of Olives....and the reason you and I experience failure. And that's also the reason the tree with the forbidden fruit was in the center of that other garden, not in the periphery somewhere. He knew that as much as our free will was going to cost Him, and it truly was going to cost Him most, our choosing sin, our disloyalty, our failure, would be the process by which we too would learn to live loved and to trust Him in all things...and learn to dance as Jason says in his book Surrendered and Untamed.....and then become the world changers He dreamed about before the worlds were even created.
Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, never the less I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh, I life by the faith OF the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me....yes it is all Him.
I gave him the response he wanted, unspoken but real non the less and it was at that moment I was had, as was every other man in the room that day. I drank that day to my allegiance and eventually my bondage, "not I...the others maybe, but I won't be the one to betray you."
For me it was sooner rather than later that push came to shove....within a few months I discovered to my chagrin that I was the weak link...I wanted to follow the man, would have taken a bullet, I loved him. I didn't overtly betray him. It came more as a question....a misunderstanding. I challenged him, questioning his judgement...actually thinking he would want me to, and that he would appreciate it later. I never saw it as disloyalty or it wouldn't have crossed my mind. But for my pastor, perception was reality. He read it as disloyalty and before I knew it, I was the Judas in the room. And in the end, both mine and his undoing.
This man was asking for more of my soul than I could afford to give him, Most everyone else in the room that day eventually discovered that they too didn't have the goods. But sadly for too many it wasn't until years later.
The last supper had the disciples sitting around the room enjoying His presence as usual, big dreams, high asperations, punching each other for the right to sit next to Him ... Jesus passed out the bread and wine looking deep into their eyes, every intention was to sober them and prepare them for the reality that was upon them. But He wasn't looking for or expecting their commitment and loyalty. In fact He had very low expectations on not just Judas but everyone at the table. He knew every one of them was about to turn tail and run.
The disciples- "Jesus, we believe, we get it...we now understand who you are"....Of coarse Peter was the most vocal....he had just told the Lord "I'll lay down my life for you". Jesus had responded matter of fact "no you won't, you'll deny me three times". He told them that they would all leave Him. "Do you now believe?...The hour is coming when you will be scattered each to his own, and will leave me a lone, YET I'M NOT ALONE."
Jesus wasn't looking for or expecting loyalty. He was stating a fact. He knew they didn't have the goods. He told them they didn't. And then He said it wouldn't be a problem, He was not alone.
He said "Don't let your hearts be troubled." in other words "Don't worry about it. Your commitment is not what I am looking for. I'm not expecting your loyalty. It's OK." He was looking for something more...something much deeper, something they could only learn through failure. He was asking but with very low expectations. "Could you not watch with me for even an hour?...go ahead sleep on."
A few days later after the resurrection they were all again together having breakfast on the beach. Peter's failure and disloyalty was fresh on his mind and Jesus looking deep into Peter's heart popped the question, "Do you love me unconditionally?"
A different Peter responded, "Lord you're my best friend, (I don't know about the unconditional part in your question, but I do love you as a friend.")
Again Jesus asked the same question and a broken Peter responded as before.
The third time Jesus lowered his expectations, "Peter do you love me as a friend?"
"Lord, You know all things, You know ..."
I'm going to suggest that Peter was experiencing Romans chapter 7...you know the chapter that identifies with our flesh's inability to soar above sin.
But I'm also going to suggest that Romans chapter 7 "Failure" is just the prelude to Chapter 8 "triumph". Our failure is the process by which we experience His love and learn to trust, not ourselves but Him, not our righteousness but His, even in the dark."
Our sin doesn't catch Him by surprise. As painful as our sin is to ourselves and to our relationship with him it comes as no surprise to Him. He knows that we will only come to trust after first experiencing the failure that comes from not trusting.
HE WAS NOT ALONE! Note:His security wasn't tied to the loyalty or disloyalty of His disciples. He was One with His Father and his friend Holy Spirit, secure in that relationship and about to provide everything necessary for your and my security as well. He was about to secure the same relationship for us that He had with the Father.
In hind sight what my pastor was asking for that night wasn't his to ask. Jesus never asked it of his followers. He never asked for loyalty. He did not entrust Himself to them. He knew what was in them and He knows that we too cannot be trusted. The meal wasn't and isn't about our commitment to Him. The covenant meal was and is about His commitment to us.
Sin was about to be dealt a crushing blow in the very body of Christ. Sin, the once upon a time champion over the human race, was about to be destroyed. The wrath of God was about to be poured out from heaven against that which was destroying the object of His affection, you and me and the whole human race. And the bread and the wine was a tangible picture of the price He was about to pay in his own body for your and my redemption.
Today during communion He's still not asking for our commitment and loyalty. He is offering His. He isn't looking for anything in us. Instead He has chosen to provide through relationship with himself everything we will ever need. "He became sin for us so we could become the righteousness of God IN Him."
His prayer that night was much bigger....His prayer was for us, that we might be one with Him, "as You Father are in Me, and I am in You....that they may be one just as we are one: I in them and You in me, that they might be made Perfect in one...that the world might believe." He wasn't praying that we would all get along. He was praying that we would get it... His offer is to abide in us as we abide in him.
Our sin, our failures, our lack of stamina, our worry, our laziness, our selfishness, our schizophrenic attempts at righteousness are only symptomatic that we don't have the goods, that we are insecure, and hints at the fact that we are not living loved, (abiding in His love) in those areas of our lives. And I've noticed from my own story it seems to take a lot of failure before I get it. What makes us think that any part of the Christian experience is doable apart from Him
The sin problem was resolved on Calvary Once and for All. He became our sin, our unfaithfulness, our brokenness so we could become one with Him and everything He is...the righteousness of God. Because of the price He paid we are now the pre-qualified recipients of a friendship unequaled in this life, the fellowship of the Father and Son through a friendship with the Holy Spirit. We have been invited to participate in the same relationship that they have shared in for all eternity.
The big news now is I AM NO LONGER ALONE! My source for everything Jesus now lives in me. My commitment and loyalty are no longer my chief concern. Living loved (abiding) is now my chief concern! And as I abide in Him commitment and loyalty are the fruit of that relationship. This is such good news! It doesn't depend on me. My friend the Holy Spirit lives in me and is all I could and will ever be.
And that's the reason the disciples had to experience failure that night two thousand years ago in a garden on the mount of Olives....and the reason you and I experience failure. And that's also the reason the tree with the forbidden fruit was in the center of that other garden, not in the periphery somewhere. He knew that as much as our free will was going to cost Him, and it truly was going to cost Him most, our choosing sin, our disloyalty, our failure, would be the process by which we too would learn to live loved and to trust Him in all things...and learn to dance as Jason says in his book Surrendered and Untamed.....and then become the world changers He dreamed about before the worlds were even created.
Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, never the less I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh, I life by the faith OF the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me....yes it is all Him.
Dad this is stunning revelation! So good. The writing is awesome as well. So honored to call you my dad. So blessed to live in your legacy.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff here. Glad Jason shared the link.
ReplyDeleteWonderful to receive from you what He's shown you. Bless you Lloyd and bless your family.
ReplyDelete