Living securely in Father's affection

Jesus TRUSTED His Father when the water was over His head and rising...
in the wilderness...
and then most significantly on the cross.

TRUST is the fruit of knowing you are LOVED.
Jesus lived securely in His fathers affection no matter what it looked and felt like...no matter how dark it got...now so can I.

If you know some one hates you or even dislikes you or is flaky in his affection towards you...(sometimes hot and some times cool)...can you trust him? NO-way!

I lived much of my life believing God was Bi-Polar.

How are we to trust a God who would take out his anger and wrath on His own son?
That is abuse in it's worst form beyond believability...
You can't trust that kind of a father. You can fear him... and try and appease him.
But trust? Impossible! NO-way!

How could a loving father destroy his own son to appease His anger?

Here is the truth...God is not capable of wrath and anger against anyone of us. He created us to be His Sons.
He is Holy but He is also Love.
And Jesus painted for us a perfect picture of what a loving Father would look like.

God's wrath is reserved for some thing and some one else...yes there was and will be judgement day... the day of the vengeance of our God.

Malachi and numerous other prophets prophesied about a coming great and terrible day of judgement.

Did you know there are actually two great and terrible days of judgement.

THE FIRST JUDGEMENT DAY- Two thousand years ago on a cross called Calvary the wrath of God was poured out on that ( the power of sin) which was destroying the object of His affection (you and me).

It was a day in history where the fury of God was unleashed but it wasn't unleashed against His Son even though from Jesus perspective in that moment it looked and felt that way. You see it wasn't the cross that killed Jesus. It wasn't the Romans or the Jews that killed him. And it wasn't His father. Jesus was a perfect man! They could have stripped every bit of meat off his body and he would not have died. Mel Gibson did a good job showing that on film. Scripture is clear on this. "Only the man that sins dies".

No, it wasn't the cross that killed Him. It was His LOVE that killed him.. when He chose to become my sin. You see I was mired over my head in a substance that had so deformed and marred the original me. The me that He dreamed of when I first crossed His mind, way back before the worlds were made. I was His ruined, yet priceless work of art.

You see when Father, Son and Holy Spirit conspired to save you and me they knew that sin's power would have to be destroyed completely in order for our complete redemption.

It wasn't until God in the form of the god-man Jesus, out of LOVE chose to take on my sin...to actually become my sin that He became the lightning rod for the wrath of God. It was in those terrible hours, the great and terrible day of the Lord, where Jesus hung between heaven and hell absorbing the full impact of the fury of the Holy Loving Father. It was that act of amazing sacrificial LOVE where our sin was burnt to cinders, never again to have the power over our lives.

And in the darkest moment of history with every eye in heaven and in hell focused on Him... and every sense and awareness of His Father was no where to be seen or felt, Jesus TRUSTED and in one final act of obedience committed Himself to His Father..."into thy hands I commit my Spirit".

The finished work of the cross...the powers of sin broken permanently over our lives... when we chose to believe. Oh the Power of the cross! The great and terrible day of the Lord...

The Next JUDGEMENT DAY!

But there is coming another day of judgement...the day when the prince of this world will be judged...Hallelujah!!!

Today we get to live this side of the cross, in between these two great and terrible days of the Lord.
And TRUST is the currency!....my head against His chest...because He LOVES me...and my kids and my kids kids and your too...until the kingdoms of this world become the kingdoms of His Christ!

Today is the day of salvation!
Today is another day that we get to live in the affectionate LOVE of an amazing Father...

Hallelujah!!!

Want to know Jesus secret for success? Send me $500...no just kidding!

Religion has made it the best kept secret in the universe and it is time you and I "get this" so we too can successfully fulfill our destiny...

There is only one commandment we are asked to keep.

I'm not kidding!

Jesus boiled all of the commandments down to one! And if you follow his story He only kept one.

He made it up and it was the only rule He lived by...remember how often He was in trouble for breaking other rules.

And it isn't the one that first comes to mind!

You interested... which one it is?

Hint...He said "a new command I give you"

(and it wasn't an add on to another list....It stands alone as the replacement for all of the other thou shalt lists, past, present and future... including thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all of thy heart, soul, mind and strength!)

....not that there is anything particularly wrong with all of the other lists....it's just that by discovering and obeying this one over riding commandment, all of the other lists become obsolete,

... because the end goal of all of the other lists are miraculously and organically fleshed out as we learn to live in the amazing revelation of this one thing....this New commandment!!!

Here it is.....

"LIVE LOVED" short for "Love one another as I have loved you."

This was Jesus secret to success. Because He lived securely in His Father's affection, He was able to TRUST His Father in EVERY circumstance. His one and only focus was to do always the thing that pleased Him. Because He lived loved He was the express image of His Father

Look it up!... John 12-17

The following in the Message is some of what He said to his disciples on that last evening before the cross...

"If any of you wants to serve me, then FOLLOW me. (stick really, really close to me or in other words live loved.) Then you will be where I am, ready to serve at a moment's notice."

"As you have the light, BE-LIEVE in the light. Then the light will be WITHIN you shining through your lives. You'll BE children of light."

...having LOVED his dear companions, he continued to LOVE them right to the end. (Actually one of the disciples, the one who referred to himself as "THE one Jesus loved dearly" well, he was reclining against him, his head on his shoulder during this conversation. He was definitely feeling the love.

"...so if I the Master and Teacher, washed your feet, you must now wash each other's feet...what I've done YOU DO." NOTE- We get to do it with Him as we live loved.

Then He said:

"Let me give you a new command: LOVE one another. In the same way I lOVED YOU, YOU LOVE one another." NOTE- The only way you will become loving is to abide in it yourself.

(to Peter and the others) "I am with you only a short time longer...where I go you are not able to come... You can't now follow me where I am going... You will follow later...the truth is today, before the cock crows you will deny me three times...(this is over your head, beyond your capacity) Don't let this throw you...TRUST IN ME ...I'll come back and get you so you CAN live where I live, do what I do, live in me...(the secret) I am the way, the truth and the life."

You see sin was the problem ...and He was about to fix the problem....the power of sin was about to be destroyed.... so we could be restored to our rightful created value as sons of the Father...we could live where we were born to live, with and in Him, where He is, in His position of advantage...loved.

Then Jesus reveals where He lived.. loved!

"Don't you believe that I am IN the Father and the Father is IN me?... the Father who resides in me crafts each word into a devine act."

"Believe me: I am IN my Father and my Father is IN me. If you can't believe that, believe what you see- these works. The person who TRUSTS me will not only do what I am doing but even greater things, because I am on my way to the Father, I am giving you the same work to do that I have been doing. You can count on it. From now on, whatever you request along the lines of who I am and what I am doing, I'll do it..."

"You will always have some one with you. This friend is the Spirit of truth...He has been staying with you and will even be in you.....you are going to see me because I am alive and you are about to come alive. At that moment you will KNOW absolutely that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you."

And here it is in plain english...the new home where we are to live...His love.

"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you....you can't bear fruit unless you are joined in me"...living loved.

"When you are joined with me and I with you, the relationship intimate and organic the harvest is sure to be abundant."

"If you make yourself at home with me and my words are at home in you you can be sure that whatever you ask will listened to and acted upon."

"I've LOVED you the way my Father has LOVED me. MAKE YOURSELVES AT HOME IN MY LOVE. If you keep my commands" (abide in me, lean on me), "you'll remain intimately at home in my love. That's what I've done- kept my Father's commands and made myself at home in His love."

"This is my Command: LOVE ONE ANOTHER THE WAY I LOVED YOU. This is the very best way to love."

"You are my friends...I no longer call you servants...I chose you and put you in the world to bear fruit, fruit that won't spoil...LOVE ONE ANOTHER."

"You are about to make a run for it- saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I am not abandoned. The Father is with me. I've told you all this so that TRUSTING in me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace." (Again, we learn to live loved and to trust how? Usually like the disciples... by not trusting.)

"In this Godless world you will continue to experience difficult circumstances. But be of good cheer! I've conquered the world."

See...told you!

Again...What was Jesus secret to success?

Because He lived securely in His Father's affection, He was able to TRUST His Father in EVERY circumstance. His one and only focus was to do always the thing that pleased His Father.

He lived loved and was the express image of His Father...

As He is so are we in this world.

Abide in father's affection...lean, trust, believe...

ONE THING ONLY! Live loved my friends!

To trust or not to trust by Wayne Jacobsen

A friend sent me this and I felt it coincided with my last blog beautifully which then gives me a suspicion I may be on to something....
BodyLife • February 1996

Sara and I had spent almost a week among them. Invited to teach, we were also learning as we watched the simplicity of fellowship, worship and growth that this group of believers shared together. Finally, late one evening while sitting by the fire with some of their key people we got to ask our questions about the life they shared together.

"How do you teach believers to trust each other?" Sara asked.

By the facial reactions around the room, you'd have thought Sara might as well have asked them if they sacrificed animals. They glanced at one another, and shook their heads as if to say, "You really don't get it, do you?" I was taken back. We had witnessed their honesty, their openness, their service to each other. Surely they worked on trust.

One finally spoke, "Where does the Word teach us to put our trust in men?"

I started probing the deep recesses of my mind whirling through every Scripture I could recall. I couldn't come up with any Scripture to answer the question.

How could this be? Much of what I taught about the power of Christian community was to help people see how much they need each other, and assist them in building the kind of trusting relationships that would allow them to share God's life together. But I knew, and most of those I've taught also knew that this trust always breaks down. We are imperfect people after all, who will make mistakes, fail each other especially at critical moments which is why churches often leave a wake of broken people.

But isn't community based on trust? I've probed that question often since our encounter almost 8 months ago. Our last issue of BodyLife dealt with the trust we can have in the Father through the faith Jesus demonstrated on the cross. Now let's take a look at the implications of the cross in our relationships with other believers.

Why Didn't Jesus Do it?

It's probably the most difficult question I've ever been asked whenever I've taught on community. "Why do we have to trust others if Jesus didn't?" I've been asked that twice both of them referring to the same Scripture: But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. He did not need man's testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man. (John 2:24-25)

On both occasions I mumbled something about Jesus' superior wisdom and that no one was able to understand his death on the cross until after it was over anyway. But even at the time the question bugged me. If Jesus didn't trust men because he knew what was in them, why would he ask us to? But the only models I knew for body life were those where people were trying to trust each other.

I didn't stop at the time to realize it was also the common denominator in those who had been deeply hurt by past church experiences. They had trusted others only to see them turn on them whenever their struggles, needs or gifts didn't fit the prevailing agenda.

So as believers, are we or are we not to trust each another?
Turning to the Word

Three words continue to crop up in most teaching regarding the importance of church life: commitment, accountability and trust. These are used to describe the kind of life that brothers and sisters ought to share together. I've used them often to help people see the great value that body life can be to them.

'Commitment' is not used at all in the New Testament, though its root, 'commit' is. Interestingly enough it is overwhelmingly used to talk about committing sin, as in committing adultery. Only in the Old Testament can we find references about committing our ways to the Lord. Two references in the New Testament describe committing people to the grace of God. All of these, however, are clearly directed at the Father and his work, nothing spoke of being committed to each other or to the church.

Likewise our 'accountability' in Scripture is only directed at God. We are not accountable to the local church, to its leaders, or even to other brothers and sisters. Paul specifically exempted himself from such thinking: "To me it is a very small thing that I should be examined by you; in fact, I don't even examine myself. The one who examines me is the Lord." (I Cor. 4:4-5)

Though there are extensive references to trusting and believing throughout the Word, I couldn't find one where we are encouraged to let another believer be the object of our trust. We are told to love each other, honor each other, pray for each other, bear each other's burdens, forgive each other, serve each other, stimulate each other to love and good deeds, be kind to one another and many other such things, but we are never told to trust one another. All references to trust and belief are firmly and exclusively directed to God. If he is the one in which all of our trust is invested, what do we have left over to give to another believer?

Interesting isn't it? Words we consider critical building blocks to body life are not even part of the foundation that Jesus laid for the church. In fact, these are the concepts that the church has historically used to bind people to its programs and agendas, as in, "Don't you trust the leadership here?" "If you're going to grow you need to be committed to what God is doing among us." "You've got to be plugged in somewhere so you can be accountable."

Jesus only gave us two directives: Love God and love each other. Doing that, we will fulfill all his ambitions for our lives.

Institutional Words
So why are these words so commonly used in the church today? Commitment, accountability and trust are all words that deal with institutions, and are necessary for the survival of any institution. It is what allows people to find identity and cooperation.

Regretfully many people don't have an accurate distinction in their minds about the church as God sees it and the institutions that have sprung up around it. We think of them as the same thing.

God sees one church that encompasses every believer in every corner of the world. He sees that not in its institutional failures, or the weaknesses of its leaders or adherents, but as the bride he is preparing for his Son. He views the church with great affection, desire and adoration. Gene Edwards, author of Tale of Three Kings, has taken to calling the church, "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World." I love that description and understanding it from that perspective will keep us from growing cynical and sarcastic about that which God loves so much.

But that is not the same thing as the organizations, buildings and meetings we call 'church' today. Wherever believers gather and seek to work together an institution springs up around it. That's what allows the group to organize, collect and spend money and make decisions. Leaders are almost always selected who provide certain 'services' for the members. That's been true for 1900 years and will probably be true up to his coming.

Men need institutions to function. Those institutions can be good, releasing the Lord's life and power among a group of people, or they can become self-serving seeking to use the institution as the extension of their own power needs or the means to their own comfort.

If church history teaches us anything it does demonstrate that while the institution that surrounds the church has often been helpful in preserving history, serving needs, testing orthodoxy and preaching the gospel, it also too often lets the institution overrun the life of God within it. You can always see that when a church battles over 'what's right' in nonessential matters instead of focusing on being right with each other in love and forgiveness.

Church renewal is often only letting believers re-discover what they had in the beginning, before the institution organized it to death. As such, the church often becomes a substitute in people's lives for a dynamic relationship with the Father. It happens so subtly that few are aware of it. We get so busy maintaining the program and meeting needs that we adjust to the waning life of the Spirit by increasing the institution. When it does we emphasize commitment and accountability.

The Father's Community
Our attempts to make other believers, or worse yet a church institution, the object of our trust, our commitment or our accountability is to place it in the role that has been reserved for the Father alone. That sounds dangerous, doesn't it? God has invited us to something so much better.

From the dawn of creation to Jesus' death on the cross, the Father's plan has always been to invite us into the fullness of relationship that he shares with himself. Since before time The Father, Son and Spirit have shared absolute joy, love, life, glory, power and wisdom without any thought of one being exalted over the other. God is a community and wherever he manifests his presence he builds community.

That's the hunger that stirs in people's hearts who desire to know the Father. It isn't necessarily for all the trappings of church life today, but to know the community of the Trinity, and be able to share that journey with fellow travelers who are learning to follow the Lord.

That's the connection Jesus was making with his disciples in the upper room in John 14-17. He wanted them to transfer the friendship he had with them to the Father and the Spirit, and with himself on the other side of the resurrection. "that they may all be one; even as you, Father, are in me and I in you, that they may also be in us." (John 17:21)

In exactly the same way the Father and Son shared life and love, he wanted to share with them as well. We get to experience their life, love, sharing joy and wisdom. Jesus identified that community as the basis by which believers would find their unity and their ability to demonstrate his glory to the world. It doesn't thrive on our trust in each other, but our faith in the Father. The former will leave us hurt and bitter when we fail. The latter will allow us to know God in ever-increasing fullness, and touching that it will be impossible for us to contain his life and love.

Body Life, Father Style
Almost without trying the Father's love in us will spill out causing us to 'one another' believers with love, prayer, forgiveness, insight, money, help and anything else others might need that we have.

Only out of that fullness and our trust in God to fill our own needs will we be able to share without any expectation for others to reciprocate, or any desire to manipulate their response. This is the essence of fellowship believers freely loving each other, assisting however we can, but without any compulsion to get others to do it our way.

We'll visit this topic again in a future issue, because it is so critical. Notice I've not given any institutional fixes here. What I want you to consider is not the structure you attend, but your relationships with other believers. Are you trying to trust them or do they demand your trust? If so, you will get hurt, because we will fail each other out of our own flesh, and even at times when we don't understand other people's obedience to the Father.

If you have been hurt like this, let the Father bring healing to your life. Your hurt, only testifies to your misplaced trust and holding onto it will hold you back from finding a freedom to experience the life of God and share it with others.

So what do our relationships with others look like?

A man in Australia expressed it best: "It looks like this, Wayne, "in my relationship with you I don't want you to trust me more, I want to help you trust the Father like you never have before. If you're doing the same thing with me then we're sharing fellowship. If I am and you're not, then I get to minister to you, which is a joy. But I'm not being cheated because I'm trusting the Father for everything I need."

Doesn't that make sense, and isn't it liberating?

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I'M NOT ALONE!

I watched as my pastor went around the room looking deeply into every man present until his eyes fell on me, gazing deep into my soul. I wanted to run, to look away, but He had such a presence and penetrating gaze. Without any words spoken I knew what He was after. Everyone knew. He was looking for disloyalty as though he were able to discern the thoughts and intents of our hearts. He was looking for the Judas in the room... as he offered us the bread and wine.

This was no ordinary communion service. This was the king and his men in the cave. This was our king needing something from deep inside of each of us, our commitment, our promise, our blood.

I gave him the response he wanted, unspoken but real non the less and it was at that moment I was had, as was every other man in the room that day. I drank that day to my allegiance and eventually my bondage, "not I...the others maybe, but I won't be the one to betray you."

For me it was sooner rather than later that push came to shove....within a few months I discovered to my chagrin that I was the weak link...I wanted to follow the man, would have taken a bullet, I loved him. I didn't overtly betray him. It came more as a question....a misunderstanding. I challenged him, questioning his judgement...actually thinking he would want me to, and that he would appreciate it later. I never saw it as disloyalty or it wouldn't have crossed my mind. But for my pastor, perception was reality. He read it as disloyalty and before I knew it, I was the Judas in the room. And in the end, both mine and his undoing.

This man was asking for more of my soul than I could afford to give him, Most everyone else in the room that day eventually discovered that they too didn't have the goods. But sadly for too many it wasn't until years later.

The last supper had the disciples sitting around the room enjoying His presence as usual, big dreams, high asperations, punching each other for the right to sit next to Him ... Jesus passed out the bread and wine looking deep into their eyes, every intention was to sober them and prepare them for the reality that was upon them. But He wasn't looking for or expecting their commitment and loyalty. In fact He had very low expectations on not just Judas but everyone at the table. He knew every one of them was about to turn tail and run.

The disciples- "Jesus, we believe, we get it...we now understand who you are"....Of coarse Peter was the most vocal....he had just told the Lord "I'll lay down my life for you". Jesus had responded matter of fact "no you won't, you'll deny me three times". He told them that they would all leave Him. "Do you now believe?...The hour is coming when you will be scattered each to his own, and will leave me a lone, YET I'M NOT ALONE."

Jesus wasn't looking for or expecting loyalty. He was stating a fact. He knew they didn't have the goods. He told them they didn't. And then He said it wouldn't be a problem, He was not alone.

He said "Don't let your hearts be troubled." in other words "Don't worry about it. Your commitment is not what I am looking for. I'm not expecting your loyalty. It's OK." He was looking for something more...something much deeper, something they could only learn through failure. He was asking but with very low expectations. "Could you not watch with me for even an hour?...go ahead sleep on."

A few days later after the resurrection they were all again together having breakfast on the beach. Peter's failure and disloyalty was fresh on his mind and Jesus looking deep into Peter's heart popped the question, "Do you love me unconditionally?"

A different Peter responded, "Lord you're my best friend, (I don't know about the unconditional part in your question, but I do love you as a friend.")

Again Jesus asked the same question and a broken Peter responded as before.

The third time Jesus lowered his expectations, "Peter do you love me as a friend?"

"Lord, You know all things, You know ..."

I'm going to suggest that Peter was experiencing Romans chapter 7...you know the chapter that identifies with our flesh's inability to soar above sin.

But I'm also going to suggest that Romans chapter 7 "Failure" is just the prelude to Chapter 8 "triumph". Our failure is the process by which we experience His love and learn to trust, not ourselves but Him, not our righteousness but His, even in the dark."

Our sin doesn't catch Him by surprise. As painful as our sin is to ourselves and to our relationship with him it comes as no surprise to Him. He knows that we will only come to trust after first experiencing the failure that comes from not trusting.

HE WAS NOT ALONE! Note:His security wasn't tied to the loyalty or disloyalty of His disciples. He was One with His Father and his friend Holy Spirit, secure in that relationship and about to provide everything necessary for your and my security as well. He was about to secure the same relationship for us that He had with the Father.

In hind sight what my pastor was asking for that night wasn't his to ask. Jesus never asked it of his followers. He never asked for loyalty. He did not entrust Himself to them. He knew what was in them and He knows that we too cannot be trusted. The meal wasn't and isn't about our commitment to Him. The covenant meal was and is about His commitment to us.

Sin was about to be dealt a crushing blow in the very body of Christ. Sin, the once upon a time champion over the human race, was about to be destroyed. The wrath of God was about to be poured out from heaven against that which was destroying the object of His affection, you and me and the whole human race. And the bread and the wine was a tangible picture of the price He was about to pay in his own body for your and my redemption.

Today during communion He's still not asking for our commitment and loyalty. He is offering His. He isn't looking for anything in us. Instead He has chosen to provide through relationship with himself everything we will ever need. "He became sin for us so we could become the righteousness of God IN Him."

His prayer that night was much bigger....His prayer was for us, that we might be one with Him, "as You Father are in Me, and I am in You....that they may be one just as we are one: I in them and You in me, that they might be made Perfect in one...that the world might believe." He wasn't praying that we would all get along. He was praying that we would get it... His offer is to abide in us as we abide in him.

Our sin, our failures, our lack of stamina, our worry, our laziness, our selfishness, our schizophrenic attempts at righteousness are only symptomatic that we don't have the goods, that we are insecure, and hints at the fact that we are not living loved, (abiding in His love) in those areas of our lives. And I've noticed from my own story it seems to take a lot of failure before I get it. What makes us think that any part of the Christian experience is doable apart from Him

The sin problem was resolved on Calvary Once and for All. He became our sin, our unfaithfulness, our brokenness so we could become one with Him and everything He is...the righteousness of God. Because of the price He paid we are now the pre-qualified recipients of a friendship unequaled in this life, the fellowship of the Father and Son through a friendship with the Holy Spirit. We have been invited to participate in the same relationship that they have shared in for all eternity.

The big news now is I AM NO LONGER ALONE! My source for everything Jesus now lives in me. My commitment and loyalty are no longer my chief concern. Living loved (abiding) is now my chief concern! And as I abide in Him commitment and loyalty are the fruit of that relationship. This is such good news! It doesn't depend on me. My friend the Holy Spirit lives in me and is all I could and will ever be.

And that's the reason the disciples had to experience failure that night two thousand years ago in a garden on the mount of Olives....and the reason you and I experience failure. And that's also the reason the tree with the forbidden fruit was in the center of that other garden, not in the periphery somewhere. He knew that as much as our free will was going to cost Him, and it truly was going to cost Him most, our choosing sin, our disloyalty, our failure, would be the process by which we too would learn to live loved and to trust Him in all things...and learn to dance as Jason says in his book Surrendered and Untamed.....and then become the world changers He dreamed about before the worlds were even created.

Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, never the less I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh, I life by the faith OF the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me....yes it is all Him.

Tongues

Now I was raised Pentecostal and if you are a Pentecostal, tongues is what you seek. You pray as long as it takes until you got “IT.” In those days “IT” was the Holy Ghost. We didn’t talk about Him as if He were a person. We used to sing, “There’s something about the Holy Ghost, I really can’t explain it but I got it.” And when you got the Holy Ghost, you also got tongues. In fact, tongues was the evidence that you had it. You get it?

We had altar calls, first for salivation and then for the Holy Ghost. As a kid my hand went up often when it was time to get the Holy Ghost. I’d go forward and someone would come and pray over me and then listen real close to see if I was talking in tongues. I’d get nervous but eventually I’d start talking in tongues. It was so natural that I could talk in tongues with the rest of them but for some reason I never felt like I got anything special. I guess I wasn’t sure I got “IT.”

So as I grew, I became somewhat of a skeptic. After Bible School I went back to my childhood camp as a counselor. Now Camp had one primary objective - get the kids really jazzed about Jesus and the Holy Ghost. I remember praying over one kid who sincerely wanted to receive the Holy Ghost. I suggested that he just speak whatever word came out of his mouth. By this time, because of Bible School, I knew a whole lot more about the subject. I told him “IT” comes from your belly, not your mind.” He seemed to get a word or two and because it was late in the evening I told him to get by himself in the morning and practice releasing the Holy Spirit.

In the morning the whole camp woke up to the sound of this young man out in the woods speaking in tongues a mile a minute. "There must be some thing to this" I told myself because it definitely was real in him.

After I had moved to Sarnia I continued to pray over people to receive this blessing, while still being somewhat of a skeptic. That was when it happened. I was praying for a young man to receive the Holy Ghost and all of a sudden I heard a new sound coming out of my mouth, words that I had never uttered before. It took me so by surprise and I was so blessed - I became a believer.

For many years it has been a “practice” I have participated in for self-edification, as a prayer language to get me somewhere. I used my prayer language as one of the tools in my belt for when I was in over my head. Lately I am discovering my prayer language as not just the means of accomplishing something bigger than me but an intimate conversation with a friend, from where I am in Him and who He is in me …a point of contact between God and me, the friendship He promised.

Not that I don’t pray in English. Sometimes I wish God would speak English more because I can understand English. I’m also learning that my desire for understanding is often a hindrance when it comes to knowing and living loved.

It is becoming a part of the death of religion in my life. You see, over the years I am discovering that there is nothing religious about the Holy Spirit. He is my best friend and He has promised never to leave me alone.

You’ll now often find me driving the half hour into the office in the morning thoroughly enjoying the nearness of my friend Holy Spirit. I may pray a little in tongues but before long I am laughing and crying as the nearness of His presence enters my consciousness.

My mind may be caught up in the affairs of my day, but as I begin to pray in the Spirit I become tangibly aware of His presence in me in both my reason and my emotions. Now this is where some folks jump ship. They are OK with a mental assent to the truth of His presence with us and in us but some how afraid of their emotions becoming effected....emotionalism it's called.

What I know is that our reason and our emotions are God given. Scripture is clear, "the Kingdom of God is not meat and drink but righteousness, peace and joy, in the Holy Spirit." It is interesting that two of the effects of the Holly Spirit in us are emotional, peace and joy. And I for one am entirely OK with that, in fact I am rather liking it.

He is not only with me. He is in me. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. WOW! He promised that we would not be left orphaned, that He would come to us. We would never be left alone, never. He, the person of the Holy Spirit is our promise! Remember what Jesus said the night He was betrayed?

One minute I am completely unaware of His presence. I may be self-absorbed. I may be in a difficult place and have no awareness of His presence at all and as I begin to pray in the Spirit, faith enters and doubt and fear are displaced as the spoken or unspoken words spill out of my heart. I'm not actually going for the feelings but more often than not when I dwell on this truth, that He is in me, I become tangibly aware of His nearness. My reason and my emotions are impacted and His peace and Joy flood over my soul. The tangible doubt and fear are displaced by His tangible peace and joy and I know again that I truly am loved by God.

Why is it reasonable for us to have our emotions impacted by fear, doubt, worry, depression, anger etc. all feelings that are a wet blanket over our day and yet be afraid of having our emotions charged by the tangible and real Holy Spirit? It isn't reasonable. That reasoning is based in fear and a lie.

Now it isn’t about the formula, it's about the friendship. LOL He is the “I Am.” I am not alone and will never again be alone. This is the truth! His presence is in me! As I let Him embrace me, the atmosphere around me changes. By the time I arrive at the office I have to compose myself and dry the tears lest they all think I’ve lost my mind. He is becoming my leaning place, my sweet spot. The more I learn to lean on Him or abide in Him….in His love, the more he loves through me. It is called living loved!

But when with the rest of you, I’ll speak in English.

Following Jesus is scary ...without our friend

Following Jesus is scary ...without my friend.

But having Him live in me takes the scary out of it.

When my kids were little and there was scary talk of ghosts usually around the Halloween season, I always reminded them that our good friend Holy Ghost was stronger than all of the other ghosts and he lived inside of us. We never needed to be afraid.

How do you keep following Jesus when there seems to be so many scary contradictions and unexpected turns in the road? You just start to get comfortable in the journey, you think that you are beginning to understand and then He takes you down an unexpected side road….a short cut through uncharted territory. I am beginning to understand that understanding is over rated.

I have to first get past the nagging question of His love for me. Once that is settled I can begin to be OK with the turns in the road and Trust Him on the journey.

I understand firsthand the problem the disciples had in following Him and believing. Following Jesus is hard. Our understanding and perspective is so limited.

-Why, when everyone was already inebriated turn more water into wine?

-Why didn’t Jesus rescue His friend John? He healed the sick, raised the dead, walked on water, multiplied the loaves and fishes and calmed the sea but where was he when his cousin was in jail and about to be beheaded?

-Why did Jesus refer to the Samaritan woman as a dog when she was asking for help?

-Why did Jesus ask the disciples if they had a sword and when they responded, “yes” say that one was enough and then when Peter chose to use it rebuke him for it?

-What were the disciples to think when Jesus spoke in such ridiculous terminology like “eat my flesh and drink my blood” with no explanation?

-What were they to think when known prostitutes fawned all over him and the sinners partied and yucked it up in His presence?

-It is easy to understand why the disciples were furious over the wasting of the pricey and precious ointment on Jesus, which could have been sold for a good sum and the money given to the poor. His excuse was “the poor you have with you always”? Why should they not be offended? He had just given such a convicting sermon about justice, addressing the way we treat the poor “as much as you have or have not done it unto the least of these you have done or not done it unto me”? Why was He now exempt from this wasteful extravagance on Himself?

-Why was He so scary to follow in the moment?


I understand the predicament Judas was in. He saw and admired so much in the Lord. He followed Him intrigued, was in His inner circle, weighed every word that came out of His mouth. He was compelled by the miracles and physically and emotionally moved by the excitement and anticipation in the crowds. Jesus provided the inspiration for his dreams and personal aspirations. He knew he was connected to the wagon that would not only topple the existing domination and subjugation by the Romans but would catapult him to places he could never have risen to on His own.

I have been in his shoes, intoxicated with prestige and power, convinced I too was connected to the wagon that would become the fulfillment of all of our dreams and aspirations. And it was God that led me there with scripture and verse. I’ve been in his shoes when God didn’t show up on time…when He was late and I went it on my own. I’ve walked the long dark valley of depression when a wet blanket covered all of my dreams and aspirations. I’ve been down the road of disillusionment and terror.

I get the fury in the disciples and the reasoning behind Judas’s decision to expose Jesus, for good hopefully. It was time to get on with the program, to hasten the day where He would rise to the anticipated expectations. King of the Kingdom in which all of their hopes and dreams would be fulfilled. or worst case scenario, exposed as a fraud. He had to know the truth and this would be Jesus doing or undoing. I get it.

What happens in your life when you are delighting in Him and following in His steps and:

All hell breaks loose?

He fails to show up on time?

The promise He gave you turns into saw dust?

You lose your wealth or position, your health, your house, wife and or kids?

You are disillusioned to the core?

What happens when the water is up to your neck and rising and he hasn’t shown up? Do you really think it would have been easier to believe if you had been back there with Him and the disciples? Do you think having Him physically with you right here right now would make things easier?

He said on the night He was betrayed “In the world you will have tribulation, it's going to get scary, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world”

How does this help?

Well this helps in every way imaginable… better than life itself..having Him in me makes all of the difference.

Here is the promise He made to His disciples and to me the night He was betrayed. “I am with you, but will be in you.” You know what is better than having Him with me right here right now? Having Him in me! The disciples had Him with them and it wasn’t enough. Not until the day of Pentecost did it all come together, and only on the day of Pentecost will it all come together for you and me as well.

What could be better than having him with me right here right now? He said having Him in me would be better and I for one am beginning to get it. It really is better.

What if Jesus lived in me?

If He lived in me I would never need fear again. That is the promise He made. He promised the Holy Ghost. The good news is My friend, Holy Ghost lives in me and will never leave me! I am never and will never be alone! He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone. And when I'm scared and lean back into his presence I can follow Him, even when nothing around me makes sense.

He never promised me a rose garden. He never promised that I would understand. He never promised no dead ends. He promised His presence not just with me but also in me; His presence, His righteousness, His peace, His joy in the Holy Ghost. My friend Holy Ghost lives in me. It no longer matters if it rains, pours or floods. The water may be up to my neck and rising but I am OK because I am never, never alone!

I don’t need all of the answers. I don’t need to understand. He loves me. I trust Him. I am in Him and He is in me. And that is what takes the scary out of following. I am learning to live loved, to enjoy the friendship that is mine.

There is no formula. Go figure. Instead He is offering friendship. And that'’s the good news.

2 Cor.13- The amazing grace of the master Jesus Christ, the extravagant love of God, the intimate friendship of the Holy Ghost, be with you.

The Skill Saw Father - Part Three

Truth is, some one did have to pay. Truth is, He already did.

I have lived most of my life thinking God was in control. It’s only been in the last six years or so that I have begun to realize with growing amazement and thankfulness that He isn’t about control at all. Quite the opposite, He is about authority. He has all authority. That’s what Jesus said in my Bible. “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me (Jesus)… Mat 28:18.”

Jesus didn’t come live here with us, die for us and rise again so he could be in control. He came to give us His authority. Control and authority are two entirely different things; control operates in the reality of need, authority is about love.

My Bible also says that it was for freedom that Jesus set me free (Gal 5:1). While control enslaves, authority sets me free. My heavenly Father has been absolutely amazing at working His freedom in me. As He’s revealed His love – His presence, His goodness, I’ve begun to discover that His love conflicted greatly with the lie that was buried ever so deep in my subconscious. His love is always bigger than the lie.

I am daily choosing to believe a radical truth about the nature of God. This truth has changed everything. The truth? Goodness is not a sometimes deal with God.

Goodness is an extension of His nature, of His love. It’s absolute; it’s not a theory, or a concept. It’s a greater revelation. It’s a truth we can either believe fully or not at all. Our Heavenly Father is fully, completely good, all the time. And if we can learn to believe this, we have found the core value by which everything in life is measured.

As I have decided to believe the “good news” I’ve been set free. Free to discover all the wonders of His goodness.

I have scanned my memory and talked in depth with my siblings. In my thorough investigation, I am confident in this next statement being absolutely 100% true. My dad never used a Skill saw on my siblings or me to get our attention or to teach us any lessons. In fact, I am sure that it never even crossed his mind. Now I realize that my dad is one of the top ten dads in world history. But even if he were just an average dad, I am confident that the skill saw would never have entered the equation.

If my dad wants to get my attention, he calls me by my name – the one he gave me. If he wants to teach me something, he shows me by how he lives. If he wants to impart to me, he reveals his heart with his words and actions. He’s always wanted the best for me and to this day he places high value on my thumbs.

I believe that there is a great shift that takes place in our hearts the day we decide to agree with the truth that God is always good, that it is impossible for a good Father to use skill saws on his kids. When we see our Father as he truly is, we are free to discover the authority of His Love; the same Love that Jesus displayed, the same authority He died and rose again to give us.

This authority is the greater works love that answers every controlling need that humankind faces. Jesus said, all authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth, now go make disciples of all nations. (Matt 28:18) Essentially, now go live in the same authority.

Our authority is about becoming sure in His love, secure in his goodness. Our authority is found when we see the true nature of our heavenly Father and then chose to both agree and align our hearts in that revelation.